My partner, Steve, and I had made the journey to go to a graduation. Seeing the still-obvious destruction made me flash back to those days after the hurricane, and started a great deal of thinking about the ways that we should be helping “our own”, whether it is after a natural tragedy, an illness, or just plain mismanagement.

Although my family lost its home and belongings, we were lucky; we weren’t planning on evacuating. A very persistent friend of mine finally convinced us to come stay with him and his wife for a few days. After all, he reminded me, everyone loves a barbeque, and it would be a great occasion to have a barbeque and relax. We should just consider it a good old-fashioned Southern get-together.

At the last possible minute, some friends from my old neighborhood decided that if I was leaving, they were too. (I’m not certain that says anything good about my level of stubbornness!) When we arrived in northern Louisiana, it wasn’t just me and my children; it was a total of seven adults, two teens, and four kids. We were toting a bird, a hamster, two cats, and four dogs. We arrived at two in the morning, after 13 hours on the road. We’d traveled only 220 miles during that time, in the company of hundreds of thousands of other evacuees.

My friend didn’t complain, didn’t ask who all these people were. He just led us to his mother’s house (which was quite luckily vacant) and tucked us in. The next morning, things looked good; the hurricane hadn’t done much damage and within a day or two, we’d be home. Imagine our surprise, and our friends’ surprise, when the levee broke. Plans to go home were quickly put on hold; there was no more ‘home’. Our friend introduced us to the pastor of the local Wesleyan Church, and we began the process of getting on. We stayed with my friends for a month, until Hurricane Rita was on the horizon and it was time to move north. Five years later, I’m up here in West Virginia and our other friends have scattered. Some went west, some went back to Louisiana. I hadn’t gone back to New Orleans since that time; it was just too painful to think about.

On our vacation, Steve and I made it a point to make the journey north to visit the couple who had been so generous not only to me and my family, but to all the strays that came with us. Not too many people would shelter 13 visitors for a month or more! We spent a delightful day with this couple, and then stopped to visit the pastor and his wife, who had helped thousands of evacuees through a mission established by their church.

The pastor’s wife was home. It was a lovely visit, and the conversation led to this article. The pastor’s wife was talking with us about the days after the Hurricane and how they’d worked such long hours to ensure that those who needed it got food, clothing, diapers, and even makeup and yes, sexy underwear to help us ladies feel human again (we needed it, believe me). She pointed out that people don’t really want to hear about God when they are hungry; they need to be fed first. And, while she believed we are all God’s children, she considers it important to remember that some people will use donations to improve their situation and to help their family, while some will simply be users.

This concept applies to Pagan communities, too. All communities, all churches, can fall victim to people who want the money from the help more than they want the help itself. This delightful woman shared with us what she’d learned over her years as a pastor’s wife. Here are her rules for helping, while minimizing the chances of getting taken advantage of.

Never give out money. If people in your congregation need their electric bill paid, pay it directly.

Take people who need food to the grocery store, and buy them groceries.

Buy their children clothing and shoes.

If the person says they have to get to another town, drive them, or buy them a non-refundable or train ticket. Take them to the depot and watch them get on the bus.

If the person says they need gas, follow them to the gas station and pump (and pay) for gas for them.

In today’s busy world, money is tight. Most of us like to help people when we can, particularly when they seem to be deserving and especially when they are a member of our congregation or worship group. With resources being limited, however, it is far better to be absolutely sure that whatever you contribute will go for what the person needs, and not what they want. If you find out that a donation from the congregation has been misused, think twice before helping that individual again. Here’s an example for you.

A congregation member has a spouse in the hospital, and needs money to drive back and forth to see the spouse. The congregation rallies around them, and provides money to fill up the gas tank plus some extra. The next day, you find out that the member hasn’t been visiting their spouse at all. Instead, they’ve been driving a neighbor to a nearby state to see their girlfriend. Clearly, the donation was misused; think twice before donating to this member again.

If a congregation member needs help with an especially high electric bill, by all means help them out. But remember, this is a “one time good deal”, not an ongoing support. Congregation members must be encouraged to stand on their own to the extent possible, and help should be just that, help – not a monthly stipend.

The Wesleyan Church in Louisiana knew that my family was Pagan. They also know that we believe in more than one God. That didn’t stop them from helping us, and from being our friends and foundation the month after Katrina. If and when another disaster occurs, we need to keep in mind that it is not the religion that matters, it is the fact that when people are hungry, they need to be fed. They need to be housed, to have gas for their car and food for their cats. As a congregation, we need to take steps to help others, while still protecting our own resources. The pastor’s wife understood this, and I am very glad that she passed this along. We are, after all, all God’s children, regardless of the name of the God or Gods.


What happens when someone in the community is charged with, or commits, an offense of a sexual nature? What happens when a Community member marries a registered offender? How can the community work together to respect everyone’s feelings and rights, while maintaining self-protection? As the numbers of registered sex offenders increase, the chance of this affecting your family goes up exponentially, and the chances you’ll have to face this situation increase greatly.

If someone in your Pagan community or their extended family is charged with a sex offense, particularly if it is a sex offense against children, there are several things it will be critical to remember. You may want to hide the children and lock the door, but don’t overreact. There have always been sex offenders around you in the local area, and there always will be. This may be the first time that the issue becomes “up close and personal” for some.

The first thing to remember is that everyone is in this together. Emotions will run very high during a time like this. Don’t give in to the temptation to interrogate your own kids. “My god, tell me he/she didn’t touch you!” is not the way to go about this. A simple “Remember that no one has the right to your body unless you give them permission” will scare the kids less, and will open the way to a quality conversation that you need to have regardless of whether you know an offender is present or not.

Some members won’t believe that anything like this could really happen. They will react with an “Oh, I simply can’t believe it, he/she wouldn’t DO that!” Make sure you accept the possibility that it really did happen, and protect your family. It’s understandable that Pagans without children would not be as alarmed as families with offspring. At the same time, family members and very close friends of the accused (or convicted) person will be very nervous about the legal process and what sentence the person might get. People may be split between thinking that the individual is innocent and misunderstood, and believing that the person is guilty, guilty, guilty. Either way, they need support from the Community.

The community leaders, whether it is of the Coven or of the eclectic Community, may decide an “official” position on the matter. The community may circle its wagons in support of the person, or they may take the position that the person is no longer welcome. From an individual standpoint, however, each Pagan household must make some tough decisions. If the household has children, parents must err on the side of caution or risk social services involvement in their lives. Thus, even if parents believe the individual to be innocent, they must keep their children away from this individual until the law allows contact again. If the person is required to register as a sex offender, families in the community must make the safety of children their first priority even if they believe the individual is innocent or the law unjust. Social service organizations don’t play around, and keeping the family intact is crucial.

Some members of the Coven or Community may have jobs that require governmental clearances. Members of these families may need to stay away from the accused or convicted in order to maintain their clearance and thus their livelihood. Families without children, or without worries relating to clearances or employment, may be able to continue to have the accused or convicted individual in their home. Some families will still be worried about reprisals from the secular community, but others will have no problem with continued socialization, especially if the individual was well established in the community before the accusation or conviction.

The important thing is to talk about the issue, and discuss it calmly and without recriminations. And, even though you and your kids are not in this alone, the family or partner of the sex offender may well feel like they have no one to turn to. It is critical to provide moral support for the family of the person who has been accused. Remember that an accusation is just that, an accusation, and that it could happen to any of us at any time.

Groups that hold ceremonies sky-clad may be even more nervous. On top of everything else, the incident will undoubtedly bring unwanted attention from the newspaper. If the person is eventually convicted, there will be trauma associated with what the person did, and with seeing their picture on the Internet and on fliers. Members of this individual’s family should be given moral support, religious support, and encouraged to attend Coven and Community meetings and to continue friendships with individual families. The family hasn’t changed, they are still your friends and co-worshipers, and they probably feel very alone and in need of solace.

Coven and Community leaders should make every effort to keep members informed of the charges, the process, and the outcome. If the family of the accused person has any needs, attend to them with caring and compassion. If the Coven or Community takes an official stand, all the families should be notified. Take the family a meal the same as you would if someone were ill. If the accused person is eventually convicted, hold a Community meeting, either in person or on the Internet, to explain the conviction, Megan’s law, and state registration laws.

All of these things should be discussed openly and with compassion, and members who believe the individual is innocent or has been wronged should be encouraged to become active in the legislative revision process. Everyone needs an advocate.

All of these suggestions will help members of your Coven or Community feel informed, feel safe, and feel like they are still members of a cohesive community which cares. I promise you that you can come through this, if you remember why you formed a Community in the first place! The universe places each of us where we need to be, when we need to be there. By maintaining faith and service through difficult times and letting our children see that we can temper caution with compassion, our kids will learn a wonderful lesson from us that will help them in their adult lives.


The homeopathy chapter provides information on a wide variety of herbs and minerals. It also contains a great deal of information on items that many readers may not realize have homeopathic uses, such as graphite. The easy to use format provides the item’s name, treatment uses, modalities, and treatment tips. This book is written for readers around the world, and one shortcoming of the book is that some of the items may be very difficult to find in differing regions.

The chapter on essential oils includes a great deal of general basic information, again in a compact form. Each of the essential oils listed in the chapter is identified with a picture, and the plant profile is provided, along with uses, safety information and fragrance profiles. The chapter is divided into general information, root oils, leaf, flower, berry and seed, and fruit sections. Recipes are given for concocting your own massage oils, and info is provided on safely storing the mixes.

The crystal chapter is small but complete; each item has a photograph, and the geology, sources, history and healing properties of each of the crystals is provided. The chapter is divided according to color and properties of the crystal. Healing methods are discussed, along with how to use crystals in meditation.

The final section of the book is devoted to home remedies and is carefully arranged according to symptom. A reader with insomnia, for example, will be delighted to find that there are a number of remedies that can be tried before resorting to a pharmacology solution. The unit on insomnia even has suggestions for curing insomnia in children. Appropriate cautions are given for the home remedies in the book.

The publisher has the usual “see your physician” caveat, but this brightly illustrated book will provide the reader with plenty of things to try before dialing the doctor’s number. On a personal note, my fourteen year old daughter, who is on the autism spectrum, was able to read through the book and she found plenty to catch her interest, giggling at the cure for hangover and exclaiming at the natural remedies for split ends. She asked to take the book with her as we go to the crystal shop the next time, and that’s the true test of a book: do you want to use it? This book passes the test with flying colors.

The book is available in hardcover and spiral, and can be found both new and used. A quick check of eBay and Amazon revealed prices ranging from .59 to $11.00 and more. This book would be a welcome addition to the pagan bookshelf, particularly at the price!